At Peace with the Pace: Finding Calm in the Journey of Growth

Guest post by: Pamela Biasca Losada

I like to learn and grow both personally and professionally. That got me to where I am today, which I’m very grateful for. Having said that, like so many others, at times I’ve too fallen into the trap: “I need to do another course, read yet another self-development book, purchase another program, …”. At the time I felt pulled into doing those things because I thought it was necessary, I still had so much to learn, and others were doing it so I guess I needed to as well. While I gained something from immersing myself in most of those things that “fact” eventually faded and led to: I didn’t feel like I knew enough.

That got me thinking: when is “good enough” or “knowledgeable enough” enough?

My sense is that there’s no definite point where we can say, “There’s nothing more we can learn,” as there always is more to learn. Learning something new can not only be useful but also exciting, helping us explore things we might not otherwise, assisting in expanding our thinking and shifting mindsets and behaviors.

At the same time, it strikes me that we can be at peace with what we know and take uncomfortable actions (applying for the dream job or a speaking engagement, asking for a raise,...) without the stressful feeling that we need more of this or that to justify or take those steps.

As I reflect on this, it seems to me that we aren’t at peace with our moment of life because someone is always outperforming us. Our brain envisions the end result without allowing time and effort to guide us there. So we can become discouraged and seek more information and might go into frantic learning mode, when what we really lack is peace with our pace of growth.

The question then becomes: how do we become at peace as we grow, recognizing that we are not where we want to be? To me there are two things to look at:

1. Have we done all we can, within our means, to deepen our understanding of the world? Have we stayed committed to learning, without becoming frantic? Are we continuing to grow?
2. If the answer is yes, then we are already making the best effort possible and progressing at a natural, healthy pace. Trying to force faster growth can lead to stress and anxiety, which won’t solve the issue, it will compound it.

Looked at this way, the creation of stress is an internal, not external, process. The world is what it is. Our reactions to the world (I don’t know enough, I want as much money as so and so, I’ll never be as successful as my friend,...) are what can create stress, not the world itself. It’s our interpretation and expectations that can create much of our distress. If we understand this, we can also see that stress is something we can work with and change using the questions above as guides.

Ultimately, when we don’t create a stressful frame for our growth, we can be at peace while growing and commit to that more helpful frame, rather than clinging to specific outcomes. The world is the world, but our inner world matters more than our external circumstances.